Our Homeschooling Decision

Okay, I'll confess... before I had children I honestly thought I would never homeschool. After all, I had survived public school just fine, and as long as I was involved in my children's education I was sure everything would be just fine. The year my oldest child turned 4, a friend who also only had preschoolers invited me to attend a homeschool curriculum fair in Wichita with her. (We lived in Kansas at the time.) My friend did intend to homeschool, and I was interested to see what was out there for preschool... because I knew I wouldn't be sending my child to school till kindergarten.

What an overwhelming and eye-opening experience that was! I took the tote box they gave us at the door and proceeded around the hall, gathering as much information as I could. And that's exactly what I recommend to folks who are considering homeschooling for the first time. Attend a conference. Explore your options.

Up until that time I only knew about a typical textbook curriculum, or a not-so-typical but still very cut-and-dried workbook approach. While I have always loved to teach, I wasn't sure that either of those approaches really appealed to me. I would really just rather read to my children. Imagine my delight when I discovered the literature-based approach to home education! I have always been a voracious reader... and I love to read aloud. To get to do that, and call it school? Umm... yeah, I b'lieve maybe I will homeschool! No, I really didn't make up my mind that day, but it sure gave me food for thought.

I had a part-time job in the evenings as assistant children's librarian at the public library. Working there I began to get to know the homeschoolers who regularly visited the library. Later that summer some of them came in with book lists because UPS was on strike, and their curriculum was delayed in coming. As they asked me to help them locate the books on their lists, I was delighted to find many of my childhood favorites included. Turns out, the book lists were from a company called Sonlight Curriculum.

What really clinched the decision for us was an opportunity to move out-of-state the next year, just before our daughter was due to start kindergarten. We moved to Idaho after school was out for the summer, so I didn't have a chance to check out the public school. My husband and I decided that I would try homeschooling for the kindergarten year and see how it went. After poring over dozens of catalogs, I finally settled on Sonlight  for that first year. By the end of the year, I couldn't imagine not continuing with Sonlight for the next year. And we never looked back.

I started representing Sonlight at conventions in 2000, when the children were still very young. Every year at the conventions I went to, I still explored my options. Yes, I loved Sonlight, but first and foremost, I wanted what was best for my kids. If there was a better curriculum for us out there, I wanted to know about it. Always, I came to the conclusion Sonlight was what our family needed. It is flexible enough that I could adapt it for my kids' individual needs and we could still enjoy and learn from all the great stories.

Looking back, I can't imagine what our life would have been like if we hadn't chosen to homeschool. It has been such a rewarding experience that I wouldn't trade for the world.

This post is part of Sonlight's 25th Anniversary Blog Party (February edition):

I hope you'll join the party.
I'd love to read your story...
plus you have a chance to win a great prize package!

A Sonlighting Family

The assignment today for the Sonlight 25th Anniversary Blog Party is to introduce my family, and share where we are on our homeschooling journey.

My students are these beautiful young ladies, ages 19 and 22. Our formal homeschooling days have recently ended. However, the girls do still currently live at home, so the learning continues. After all, thanks to Sonlight, we raised them to be "lifelong learners."

They say homeschooling actually starts at birth... and it does. When I hear a parent say they could never homeschool it makes me wonder what they think they were doing during those early years. However, our formal, curriculum-based homeschooling actually started in 1998 when Laura was ready for kindergarten. That's the year we started with Sonlight... but that's a story for another post.

Fast-forward to 2011... (and the years went by about that fast...) we were pleased to present Laura with her high school diploma at a group ceremony we had put together with a few other homeschooling friends in our area. Laura graduated in Idaho where we had lived since she was in kindergarten. It meant a lot to her to get to graduate with her friends.

Rebecca graduated this past spring (2014) after we had moved to Colorado. Since she only had one semester of school left after we moved, we hadn't connected with a homeschool group here. Instead we planned a special backyard ceremony just for her with her grandparents and church friends.

Over the years as I've shared our homeschooling story at conventions around the country, I tell how learning is a lifestyle in our family, not just something we do during school hours. And though the girls have graduated and are pursuing their adult lives now... the learning goes on.

This post is part of Sonlight's 25th Anniversary Blog Party (January edition):

   

I'd love to hear your story as well!

Graduation Day

 

The third Saturday in June was a beautiful day for a backyard graduation. The late afternoon sun filtering through the trees made a lovely setting for the girl graduate in her pink cap and gown. (She was the only graduate in her "class" so she got to choose the color.)

Her teacher (me)... and her "principal" (her dad)... made a few comments and presented her with her diploma.

Then her pastor-grandpa shared some thoughts and offered a blessing. The gathered friends blew bubbles at her as she tossed her cap into the air.

And with that... my homeschooling journey was over.

 Sixteen years I've invested in my children's education. Long days of wondering if we were covering everything we should be. Delightful days reading piles of wonderful stories. Challenging days when nothing seemed to go as planned. But oh, it was so worth it!

 As my mother and I previewed the PowerPoint presentation that I put together for the celebration, she commented, "The years have gone by almost as fast as those slides are changing." I agree with her. How could sixteen years possibly have gone by already?

My emotions have been bittersweet. In some ways, I wish I could go back and do some things differently. On the other hand, I'm excited to see what the future has in store for my now-adult children.

I am so grateful that I had the privilege of being home with them all throughout their childhood. Motherhood is a blessing I don't take for granted.

We Have Arrived!

Today we reach a major milestone, Lyle and I. Our children are both now legally adults. We have successfully raised them. We take full credit, of course, for the beautiful young ladies they have turned out to be. And now, we are done. We can sit back and enjoy our empty nest, basking in the satisfaction of a job well done....

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Oh! Except for one thing... they actually do still live with us, so our nest isn't really empty.

Oh! And another thing... I still have the rest of this school year to homeschool.

Oh, yeah. And they still ask us for advice. Several times a day usually. They don't always choose to follow our advice. But they do ask.

And I worry about them. Especially when they are out and about with their friends. Or driving home from work late at a night on dark country roads.

I fret about the future. Where will they be in 5 years? 10?

Come to think of it, I'm not sure I'm ready for them to be all grown up. But here we are.

And our parenting job isn't really over.

And we really can't take credit for the beautiful young ladies they truly are. That credit has to go to God for the wisdom He was so gracious to provide every time we asked. And to friends and family who have so faithfully come alongside us over the years.

We are blessed.

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Happy 18th birthday, Sweet Becky!

The Antique Buggy

Imagine, if you will, a young mommy in the late 1960s out for a walk with her baby. In your mind, what does that baby stroller look like? Maybe bright and plasticky, with shiny chrome metal bars and such? Yeah, me, too. (Go ahead. Google "baby stroller 1960s" and you'll see what I mean.)

Whatever you had pictured, it was probably not this, huh?

 Believe it or not, that picture was taken in 1966... and the dimpled little charmer? Yep, that's me!

You see, by nature and of necessity, my mother has always been quite frugal. When she needed a stroller for her firstborn baby, she and Dad went to the auction house to look for a bargain.

Alas, there were no strollers to be found. The only thing available was an antique wicker baby buggy circa 1925. Since it was forty years old and so shabby, they were able to get it for $10. Mother declared she liked it better than a stroller anyway, so they brought it home... and plopped me in it for many a happy walk.

I think I remember Mother telling how she used it to cart her wash from their apartment to the laundry room on the premises. She would set me in the back, and put the basket of clothes in the front.

 It was a very generous buggy. Plenty of room for two happy tots. In the picture above, aunt Rachel and I are considering how I should scoot over and make room for her.

See there? This arrangement works out nicely!

 Here I'm sharing with my twin cousins. The girl twin gets to ride in the buggy with me, while the boy twin demonstrates his strong muscles by "pushing" us. I wonder how far he managed to get us on the grassy surface. Looks like some wise adult had probably lifted the buggy over off the sidewalk to slow his progress. Runaway babies would not be good.

 And then, a year or so later, we had twins of our own! Girl twins. So Mommy pushed the baby sisters in the buggy while I pulled a wagon for the puppy to ride in. I wonder how far we got with that set-up? Looks to me like that puppy required a good deal of cuddling and not so much riding in the wagon.

 Not quite two years after that we got a baby brother, and he had his turn in the buggy. Some teens from our church came by to help with the little ones, and took us all for a walk. I remember we girls had strict instructions to hold on to the buggy and not let go.

Regrettably, I couldn't find a picture of my youngest brother in the buggy... because yes, the following year, there was still another baby. Probably we didn't have a camera, or maybe couldn't afford film for the camera, during his buggy-riding days.

After that, the buggy went into storage for many years.

And then, in the 1990s, my mother got it out again. By then it was too wobbly and delicate to be used in any practical way, but it made a perfect photo prop for those grandbabies!

My firstborn baby...

...and then my second one...

...followed by nine cousins over the next few years.

Mother finally relinquished the buggy to my care not too long ago. I am very happy to have it in my living room. We've had a "family" of porcelain dolls cuddled together in it for awhile. I think I'd like to put something different in it now. I'm not sure what, but I'll think of something.

So, for this week's Vintage Thingy Thursday, that's the story of the second half of the life of my antique wicker baby buggy. I'd be very curious to know the stories it could tell of the first half of its life, wouldn't you?

Goosey Goosey Gander

Mother Goose (No, not that Mother Goose! This is a different Mother Goose!) and her four little goslings were having a lovely time paddling around the pond at our local park. They were so happy to be reunited, as Mother Goose and one of the goslings had just returned from the other side of the dam. The three goslings who had been left behind had been crying piteously for mama, but she soon had all of her babies safely within reach and all calmed down.

Becky has been accumulating bread crusts in a bag in the freezer all winter just for the purpose of feeding the ducks and geese at the park this spring. Mother Goose and her little ones were happy to be the recipients of such bounty and eagerly came closer to shore (but not too close) to scoop up the tidbits Becky tossed into the water.

Such generosity did not go unnoticed by a neighboring family of geese. The New family on the scene was made up of a mother and a father plus six babies. (Which made us wonder where the father of the First family was... or maybe that was actually Father Goose rather than Mother Goose in the First family? Gender differences in Canadian Geese are rather subtle. At least to me! I doubt they are to the geese. I understand they mate for life and the father helps take care of the young--which is as it ought to be, don't you think?)

The New family decided that the First family had had enough of the bread crumbs, so they tried to chase them away. One of the New parents actually dunked one of the poor babies from the First family all the way under the water. When the baby didn't pop right back up we were a little concerned. A few seconds later, though, the little feller popped out of the water way across the pond. Mother Goose hurriedly paddled off to his rescue, leaving her other three babies behind to paddle around with their cousins.

Now there were nine apparently identical goslings splashing around in a group overseen by the New mother and father. How they could tell which children were theirs and which belonged to the First Mother Goose was more than I could figure out, so I found it amazing to watch one of the New parents herding two of the babies away from the group and over towards Mother Goose and the chastised little one. But the New family still had an extra one, by my count. Would they notice? Sure enough, they did. Pretty soon they guided the last little stray back to Mother.

We were fascinated.

Golden Days

Late summer in north Idaho can feel like early fall-- and after a cool and damp weekend we enjoyed sunny, warm temps on Monday. That evening my daughter's senior class gathered at the lake for a back-to-school-for-the-last-time cookout.

Homeschooled kids don't see their "classmates" every day at school, so we are planning several social events throughout the year to celebrate this achievement in our lives, and to create special memories of "Senior Year."

As we enjoyed the amazing sunset over the lake, and the fellowship around the campfire, I was reminded again why Laura Ingalls Wilder called these the "Happy Golden Years." The young people are just on the brink of adulthood and are so excited about all the possibilities available to them.

On the flipside it's a bittersweet time for the parents. We've done our job as well as we knew how, and now it's time to begin to let go.

Motherhood

On Mother's Day, for the past 17 years, I have quietly celebrated the privilege I have of being a mother. I don't need my family to honor me. They do, but it's completely unnecessary. Just getting to be a mother is enough of an honor for me!

I love this parable that one of my uncles shared at the funerals of both of my grandmothers. Grandmother Easley passed away in 1998 when my children were 2 and 5. MawMaw Ezell passed away last summer when my children were 13 and 16. Both times I so appreciated this illustration of motherhood, but from a completely different perspective each time. As my children are growing up, I'm discovering, much to my surprise, that motherhood does get better over the years. I could never have imagined that the teen years would be just as wonderful as the baby years!

A Parable of Motherhood

By Temple Bailey

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is the way long?" she asked. And her guide said, "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning." But the young mother was happy and she would not believe that anything could be better than those years. So she played with her children and gathered flowers for them along the way and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them and life was good, and the young mother cried, "Nothing will never be lovelier than this."

Then night came, and storm, and the path was dark and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle and the children said, "Oh Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come," and the mother said, "This is better than the brightness of day, for I have taught my children courage."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary, but at all times she said to the children, "A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed and when they reached the top, they said, "We could not have done it without you, Mother." And the mother, when she lay down that night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage, today I have given then strength."

And with the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil--and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said, "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light." And the children looked and saw above the clouds an Everlasting Glory, and it guided them and brought them beyond the darkness. And that night the mother said, "This is the best day of all for I have shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old, and she was little and bent. And her children were tall and strong and walked with courage. And when the way was rough they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond the hill they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And the mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know that the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone and their children after them." And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said, "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a Living Presence."

The Girl I Used to Be

Being in Louisiana this past weekend has brought back so many memories of my junior-high years when we lived there. It is hard to believe that's been 30 years ago. The experiences I had there are still fresh in my mind, yet a lot happens in 3 decades!

I've been trying to remember the dreams and aspirations I had as a 13-year-old. Did I imagine myself in 30 years? I doubt it. How can a barely-teen-age girl possibly conceive of what it's like to be a middle-aged woman? I do know this much: being middle-aged is nothing like what I thought it would be. In my mind, I am not 43! But... it doesn't matter. Life is good, and I am happy with who I am.

As I've been contemplating these things I was reminded of this poem I came across several years ago:

She came tonight as I sat alone..
The girl I used to be....
And she gazed at me with her earnest eyes
And questioned reproachfully:

Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame,
All the wonderful things to do?

Where is the mansion of stately height
With all its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels in your hair?

And as she spoke, I was very sad
For I wanted her to be pleased with me...
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl that I used to be.

So gently rising, I took her hand
And guided her up the stairs
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet, and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems,
And precious they are to me;
That silken robes, is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.

My mansion of stately height is love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls
For the dear ones who come and go.

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me.
And I saw the woman that I am now
Pleased the girl I used to be.

~Author unknown

Gifts from my children...

Don't you just love the sweet gifts that the children come up with on their own?

My daughters made this beautiful cake for me for Mother's Day... all by themselves. I didn't see it till they presented it to me completely finished! I was impressed!
Later in the week a knock came on my office door. I called out for whoever it was to "Come in!" but no one did. So I opened the door to find this cheery nosegay hanging on the doorknob!
Attached was this "mysterious" note...
I wasn't sure if they meant they were late for Mother's Day or May Day, but anyway, I appreciated the thoughtfulness behind the gift.

I really do like dandelions. I just wished the blossoms lasted longer and that they didn't have such "weedy" tendencies of growing in inappropriate places, and insisting on being taller than the grass!

The children were tickled to find out that their bouquet was called a nosegay! They thought that was a hilarious name for it.

Junior Elf Books

I love vintage books! Big surprise, huh?

And because I always need more books, I couldn't pass up this handful of "Junior Elf" books when I came across them at a garage sale this summer. You'll probably have to click on the picture to enlarge it to see that the cover price on most of them is 15 cents! (One is 19 cents. What's that about? They thought 20 cents would be too much, but 15 cents wasn't quite enough?)
I can't use the excuse that I got them for my children, because my children are too old for them... so I'll just admit that I got them for me! They remind me of a story from my childhood that my mother tells.

I must have been about 3 or 4 when Mother picked up a few of these little books, thinking that they would just be so handy to keep in the diaper bag for my sisters and me to look at in church, to keep us quiet, you know. My sisters are twins and they are 19 months younger than I am. Plus we had a baby brother or two. (Well, yes, we do have 2 younger brothers... I'm just not sure exactly when this incident took place. It may have been before the youngest was born.)

In any case, Mother's hands were more than full. Unfortunately, she quickly discovered that an assortment of cute little picture books was not the thing to keep us quiet in church. She said she gave us each a little book to look at it, and we each flipped through it lickety-split and then wanted to trade with a sister for another book. We ended up making more noise passing books back and forth than we did with no books.

So that was the end of our getting to look at books in church. *sigh*

I remember getting to draw pictures sometimes, and playing with a handkerchief. (I can still roll a hanky up into twin babies swinging in a hammock! Anybody else remember doing that?)

But we were the preacher's kids, so mainly I think we just learned to sit still and listen. Eventually.

Works for Me Wednesday

The "Mom, I'm bored!" Edition.

My kids don't complain about being bored... much. By the time they finish their chores and schoolwork for the day they are so happy to have some free time that they usually have no problem finding something to do. They've learned that if they tell me they're bored I'll find them something to do that they really don't want to do! But then, my kids are older, and this is something they've grown into. Here's an idea that worked pretty well when they were younger.

Make up a list of all the possible things around your house that kids can do. Include all their games and play-sets, special by-permission-only activities, and even a few random chores that are not on their every day lists. With a little thinking it should be a very long list! Type up your list with a space between each item and then cut up the list so you have each activity listed on a separate slip of paper. Fold the little slips in half and put them in a jar. When the kids get bored they can take a slip of paper. You can either tell them they have to do whatever is on the first slip they draw... or you can let them keep drawing until they find one they like.

Charlotte Mason

I've heard a lot about the Charlotte Mason method of homeschooling but had never taken the time to read her books. I discovered this week that our local support group's library has them, so I checked out the first two. She has some very interesting ideas! Most of them good... especially considering that they were written a hundred years ago. I do get tickled, though, at her sincere advice to always dress children in wool (so their skin can breathe!) and some other quaint Victorian ideas like that. Who knows? She may be right!

The main ideas I am getting from the first book so far are: 1) spend more time outside studying nature... and 2) be very consistent in your parenting (so important, I know, but oh-so-hard to do).

Caddie Woodlawn

Here's a quote from Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Ryrie Brink, which I read aloud as part of our homeschool curriculum this year. It was one of my favorite books growing up and my daughters enjoyed it, too. It is based on a true story and takes place in Wisconsin in the mid-1860's. If you haven't read the book, Caddie is a young girl (about 11, I think) who was permitted to pretty much grow up as a tomboy running "wild" with her brothers. She had a sister who was sickly and died when she was younger, and her father thought that she might grow up to be healthier if she was allowed to run outside in the fresh air with the boys rather than have to stay in the house doing "girl" things all the time. But, then one day, the children were rude to a visiting cousin and Caddie got into more trouble than the boys. She was sent to her room without supper. After she had been there for several hours her father came to her room to talk to her. I loved what he had to say to her:

"Perhaps Mother was a little hasty today, Caddie," he said. "She really loves you very much, and, you see, she expects more of you than she would of someone she didn't care about. It's a strange thing, but sometimes we expect more of girls than of boys. It is the sisters and wives and mothers, you know, Caddie, who keep the world sweet and beautiful. What a rough world it would be if there were only men and boys in it, doing things in their rough way! A woman's task is to teach them gentleness and courtesy and love and kindness. It's a big task, too, Caddie--harder than cutting trees or building mills or damming rivers. It takes nerve and courage and patience, but good women have those things. They have them just as much as the men who build bridges and carve roads through the wilderness. A woman's work is something fine and noble to grow up to, and it is just as important as a man's. But no man could ever do it so well. I don't want you to be the silly, affected person with fine clothes and manners whom folks sometimes call a lady. No, that is not what I want for you, my little girl. I want you to be a woman with a wise and understanding heart, healthy in body and honest in mind..."