Monday, February 6, 2012

My Best Friend

I love being married to my best friend. He was my best friend all those years ago when I married him, and he still is. Today, on Marriage Monday at Chrysalis, the topic is "Overcoming Boredom and Apathy." e-Mom asked those of us who have been married for 10 years or more to share our advice:
Keeping family life running smoothly (and paying for it all) takes so much energy that many couples have nothing left over for their friendship. During those stress-filled seasons, boredom and apathy can easily infect a marriage. Have you been there? Are you there now? What are you doing to inject fresh vitality into your relationship?
Having been very happily married for more than 26 years my advice is to make your friendship with your husband your second priority. (Your first priority should, of course, be your relationship with God.) Our lives are very busy. There are always demands on our time and attention. Lyle usually works 50-60 hours per week, sometimes more. However, we still find time to talk and share with each other every day.
Here are some things we do to connect on an on-going basis:

  • If he has to work late, I'll go to the print shop to hang out with him. Even if he's so engrossed in a job that he can barely acknowledge I'm there, I still like being there. I take along projects to work on quietly, or if he's working on something I can help with, I jump in to help him. 
  • At least once a week we take 20 minutes for a quick "date" in the middle of the day. It just consists of me riding with him to buy a Coke or coffee to go. Then he drops me off at home and he heads back to work.
  • At the end of the day we relax together in the family room. Sometimes we watch TV or a movie, but conversation always has priority. If either of us has something on our mind we take time to talk about it.
  • We like to go out for breakfast on Saturday mornings. Most Saturdays he has to work, and I usually go with him. In the summer, we get a to-go breakfast and go garage-saling if we have time.
  • We text or email each other during the day. Electronic communication is so much more efficient than phone calls when you just have something quick to say.
  • We run errands together in the evenings. He goes with me to the grocery store. I go with him to Home Depot. When we have time we like to go to Barnes and Noble just for fun.
We are enjoying this season of life now that our children are old enough to stay home alone. When they were younger we would still do a lot of things on this list, but we took them with us. It was harder to fit in the "just us" time, but we have always had the end-of-the-day conversation time after the kids went to bed.


Alicia The Snowflake said...

Great ideas! I especially love the one about the quick date in the middle of the day. Occasionally hubby & I get to have lunch by ourselves during the week. That's always nice and relaxing.

Thanks for sharing!
Happy Monday!

Constance said...

I enjoyed reading your list. One of the things I did, (and I realize I have the luxury to do this)I make sure my Saturdays are wide open. I have all the laundry, household chores and errands done during the week so that I am available to him. If he spontaneously says on Friday evening that he wants to run to the REI Store the next morning, I am ready to run when he is! I don't preoccupy myself with thoughts of a pile of ironing or other things that I need to tend to, I can enjoy just BEING with him. If nothing comes up, that works out well too, I can time to scrapbook or work some of my other projects! Dave doesn't need me to tll him I have made him a priority, he knows it! And you're right about our husbands being our #2 priority and God our first, it's just a better way to live!!

Beth said...

I love how you and your husband make the mundane special--just being with each other means so much! That's a great reminder to me, Karla! And of course, the reminder to keep God as our number one priority is always the best advice!!

Lisa Maria said...

Hi Karla..I enjoyed your post. Your hubby sounds like mine...a rare gem is a man who doesn't mind going shopping with a woman! We also text and e-mail. Sounds like you really enjoy being together, even in the simplest do we.

God bless!

Denise said...

Such wonderful ideas.

Tami Boesiger said...

I agree it gets much easier as the kids get older, except they complain about not getting to go along! Good for you guys in finding ways to carve out time to be together.

Farrah said...

Re: your first line - Me too! :-)

e-Mom said...

Loved this post!! Lots of great ideas for staying in touch in little ways throughout the day. LOL, we text too... and we both work at home!

We do the same as you... both to Safeway, both to Home Depot. We joke that some of our most romantic moments are walking down the plumbing aisle. Tonight after dinner, it was a quick jaunt to Staples together. (Now we're both back to our computers.)

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday, today Karla!

Blessings, e-Mom